Biblical Marriage: What God Hates

 ***This is the 3rd article in a series. The series is meant to be read in order. If you have not yet read the earlier articles, please stop and do so and then come back here. The first article can be found here. The second article can be found here.***


We discussed in our last article that when sin came into the world it brought with it tremendous damage and destruction. Nothing was safe from sin’s affects. Included in this, was God’s design for marriage. Satan went right to work on attacking what God intended. He did his best to distort it and break it apart. In many ways, he succeeded. 

We see countless examples of polygamy, abuse, and even divorce in the OT. When Moses wrote the law (which came from God) he was not “instituting” divorce, as if he was bringing about a way for people to get out of their marriages. Rather, he was attempting to regulate/limit the divorce that was already happening. He attempted to stop people from divorcing rashly by stating that if you divorced your spouse and they married again, even if they got a second divorce, or if their second spouse died, you could not take them back (Deut 24:1-4). The divorce certificate was always a part of Israelite divorce. It was a way to protect the woman from her former spouse and free her to marry again.

God, through Moses, made sure that there were laws in place to protect women from abuse of their husbands. Not only do we read about this in Deuteronomy 24, but in other places as well. In Exodus 21:7-11 we read of God’s protection of the slave/wives. If a man neglected her by diminishing her food, clothing, and marital rights in favor of a new wife that he had chosen to take, the slave/wife was to be released. She was not to be bound and kept in that awful situation. In Deuteronomy 21:10-14 we read that if a man married a foreign woman and then he no longer found delight in her, he was to release her. What was happening in these situations is that if a man decided later that he didn’t really delight in his wife any longer, he would treat her as a slave. God steps in and protects these women. He could not sell her, or treat her as a slave, he had to release her. 

We read of many examples and laws concerning divorce in the OT. So, since we see God instituting laws designed to protect the abused, and release them from their marriages and we even read of God divorcing Israel because of their unfaithfulness (Jeremiah 3), does that then mean that God is “ok” with divorce? 


God Hates Divorce

Hate is such a strong word. We generally don’t like to use it, nor do we allow our children to throw that word around haphazardly. The word brings about a certain kind of darkness that is uncomfortable, and our natural response is to flee from hate. However, there is no way around the fact that there are some things (several, in fact) that the Bible tells us that God hates. 


Proverbs 6:16–19 (ESV)

16 There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: 17haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood18 a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil19 a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.


In this well-known and often quoted text we read of many things that God hates. If you and I love the Lord and want to serve Him, we would do well to make sure we are not doing any of these things. I cannot tell lies and think God is ok with that. I cannot shed innocent blood and think God is ok with that. I cannot stir up trouble within the brotherhood and think God is ok with that. As a child of God, our desire should always be to do what makes God happy, and avoid what He hates. 

This list in Proverbs is not an exhaustive list of things that God hates. In Malachi 2 we read about another.  


Malachi 2:16 (NASB95)

16 “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel…”


In context, Malachi is speaking about Israel dealing treacherously or “faithlessly” with the wife of their youth. What was taking place is that Israelite men were divorcing their Israelite wives in order to marry foreign wives who worshipped other gods. Malachi points out that God’s desire for them was to produce Godly offspring with their Israelite wives (Mal 2:15). Instead, these men were divorcing their wives in order to marry other women. God refers to this as dealing treacherously. “Treacherously” comes from the Hebrew word- מָעַל(mā·ʿǎl) which literally means- “unfaithfully, break faith, commit a violation”. These men who divorced their wives for the purpose of marrying another (foreign) woman, had not been faithful, they broke faith with their first wife by breaking the covenant that they had made with her. As God looked at what was happening, He hated it. 

God had a plan for marriage. This was not it. What was supposed to be a beautiful union between two people for life had been distorted and abused in just about every conceivable way. God put in place laws to limit divorce, as well as laws to free women who were being abused from their marriages. However, the fact that something was allowed does not mean that it pleased God. It didn’t. We will see Jesus address this very point when we enter the NT in this series. God was not pleased, in fact, He hated what men were doing. 

Just a casual observance of the damage that divorce can bring to the lives of people still today helps us to understand why God hates divorce. People break faith in their covenants. Unspeakable pain is brought into the lives of those involved. Not just for the two who are no longer married, but also to their children, friends, and family. All of that pain, all of that damage, was never part of God’s plan. 

To this point, we have examined God’s plan for marriage and it’s beautiful design. We have looked at how sin corrupted all that was once pure and good, and that included marriage. We have examined various laws that were put in place to both limit divorce and protect women from abuse. We have also seen where God’s heart was on the issue, He hated what was happening. 

Where does that leave us today? What does God expect today? How can we do what we need to do in order to make God happy? These are some of the questions we will begin examining in coming articles. 

Biblical Marriage: Design


**This will be the first in a series of articles covering a very important topic from scripture. I would like to make a request to those who read it. The request is simply this… read it all. Do not just read one article, as it can leave you with an incomplete/invalid view of the teachings of scripture. For those who are willing to commit to reading a series, let’s dive in!
**


As we consider the design of marriage, one thing that should be abundantly clear to all of us is that we cannot allow society to tell us what marriage is supposed to be. Like most things, in our frailty and sinfulness we have distorted what God’s design is. In order to see the design, we need to go to the beginning.

In the creation story in the book of Genesis we read that as God looked upon His creation He saw all that He had made was good.


I often pause to close my eyes and try to imagine what creation would have been like in the beginning. What the clean air would smell like/feel like in your lungs as you breathed it deeply in. What would it be like to be able to be surrounded by all of the animals without fear? I try to fathom what it must have been like for Adam to live each day without any weight of sin/shame. Total union with God and creation. This is truly an awe-inspiring thought. Everything was good… Well, almost everything.


​Genesis 2:18 ESV

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”


The one thing in all of creation that was not good is that man was alone. God’s solution to this situation was not to create more animals for Adam to tend to, or give him more work to do to keep him busy, or even to create someone else who was just like him. God created Eve.

The text says that God made a “helper” for Adam. Some bristle at that terminology and reject it. They view that language as somehow being demeaning to women, or speaking as if a woman’s only purpose in life is to be an assistant to a man. This is far from what is actually being said here in the text.

The Hebrew word translated as “helper” is עָזַר (ʿā·zǎr) which can mean- “one who helps, a support, an aid.” What is important to notice is that this word does not denote inferiority as we might apply to it when we hear “helper”. We know this because Exodus 18:4, Psalm 70:5, and several other passages use this same word to describe God. God is an ʿā·zǎr to his people. God certainly is not inferior to His creation.

The thrust of what is being said in the text is NOT that Adam (the man) is the “important one” and that Eve (the woman) is simply his assistant in life. Rather, the picture of scripture is that just as God helps His creation in ways that they cannot help themselves, Eve was able to do for Adam what he could not do for himself.

Anyone who has been married to a good spouse understands this principle first hand. You compliment one another, have different strengths, and you need one another. I sometimes wonder if my wife needs me half as much as I need her. I am confident that without my savior, I would be lost. I am also confident that in a different sense (but a very real one) without my wife, I would be lost.

In Genesis 2:21-22, we read that God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and took one of his ribs and formed Eve. Upon seeing Eve, Adam recognized that she was “bone of his bones, and flesh of his flesh”. She was like him, but different. She wasn’t inferior to him, she wasn’t superior to him. She came from his side. She was an equal part of God’s crowning jewel of creation, and she came to be for Adam what he could not be for himself.

In writing the creation account, Moses here adds the words of Genesis 2:24:


​Genesis 2:24 ESV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.


Moses ends this section of scripture with a point of application. He writes, “therefore”, most of us were taught to always remember that “therefore” is there – for – a – reason. It is connecting the previous thought. Moses is saying, “since it is not good for man to be alone” and “since God has created women to be what man cannot be” and “since woman is an equal part of creation” – a man shall leave father and mother, hold fast to his wife, the two shall become one flesh.

Moses is writing centuries after the creation event unfolded. He is drawing our minds back to the beginning to teach about marriage. Since God created the perfect partner for man, men should leave their family unit behind, and form a new family.

Man is not just to leave father and mother and get married. Rather he is to, “hold fast” to his wife. Literally meaning, “fasten himself to her”, forming a one flesh union. Just as one would “fasten their seatbelts” to make sure they don’t fall out of a rollercoaster through all of it’s ups and downs, twists and turns, husbands and wives are to fasten themselves together. They are in this relationship for the rollercoaster of life. They are to be together in the twists and turns, the ups and the downs. The two, have now become one.

Erasing Our Limits


From the time I was a little boy I have longed for a life without limits. How cool would it be to have the ability to fly? No, not in an airplane, but just be able to fly? How awesome would it be to be able to run forever and not get tired? Can you imagine being able to lift more than anyone else? We love the idea of being able to do incredible things that defy the odds and what most would claim to be impossible. Perhaps you have even been asked the question, “What would you do if you had unlimited money?” We are enamored by the thought of having unlimited abilities, resources, and talents. It allows us to dream big and smile.

I wonder if we dream way too small of dreams when it comes to the church that Jesus built? Do we dream that one day our congregation would have to add on to our building to accommodate new Christians? Do we then remind ourselves that numbers don’t really matter? Do we dream about God using us as His people to shine a light so bright in our community that the world would have no choice but to see that city on a hill? Only to remind ourselves, that people are busy and they probably wouldn’t notice if we did some grand work. Do we pray for that person who has left the faith, in hopes that their heart will turn back to the Lord? Only to add the phrase “if it be your will” to our prayer. We know that we should pray in keeping with God’s will, and allow for God’s will to be different than ours. Jesus did it, we should too. However, if we are really honest with ourselves, we might admit that at least occasionally when we say those words, it is due, in part, to our doubt that God can or will answer what we have asked of Him.

What is the biggest limit to the church being who we were meant to be? What is the biggest hinderance to the borders of the kingdom expanding? What is the biggest reason that our prayers seem to not yield what we hope for? There may be a variety of answers to these questions, and I do not pretend to speak for them all. Allow me to offer one possible answer to these questions.

OUR FAITH IS TOO SMALL:

When you study the Gospel of Matthew, this stands out in a pretty major way. Think with me regarding a few passages of scripture…


Matthew 8:1-4

A man with leprosy approached Jesus and simply said, “If you will, you can make me clean”. Notice what this leper believed about Jesus, if it was Jesus’ will for him to be healed, he would be healed. He was healed.


Matthew 8:5-13

We read of a roman centurion who had obviously heard a lot about Jesus and His abilities. He came to Jesus asking Him to heal a servant. However, he had such faith in Jesus, that he said- “Only say the word and my servant will be healed”. This man believed that if Jesus would simply speak the words, his servant would be healed. Do you remember what happened? Jesus spoke the words and the servant was healed.


Matthew 9:18-26

We see two amazing miracles. One is a woman who had a medical issue that no one could fix, and she believed that if she could only touch the garment of Jesus she would be healed. The other, was a synagogue ruler’s daughter who had died. The father believed that if Jesus could lay his hands on her, she would live again (talk about faith!) What do we see happen? The woman touched the garment of Jesus and she was healed. Jesus grabbed the hand of the ruler’s daughter and raised her back to life!


Matthew 14:34-36

– We see that crowds had gathered around jesus and they believed that if they could just touch His garment, they would be healed. Do you know what happened to every single person who touched His garment? Yep, they were healed.


What is the point of looking back on these incredible accounts of these miracles? There are two main takeaways I want to ask you to think on and consider.

  1. Every person was healed to the point that they believed they would be.

If someone thought that Jesus just had to desire to heal them, then that is what Jesus did. If someone thought they would be healed by the touching His garment, that is what happened. If someone thought that they would be healed by Jesus speaking the word, then Jesus spoke the word. If someone thought that Jesus would heal them by touching them, then Jesus touched them. What is the point? The point is, Jesus always worked in their lives in proportion to their faith. Is it possible that we don’t “see God working” like we wish that we did, because our faith is too small? Because we don’t believe He really will? Because we doubt when we pray? Which leads us to the second big takeaway.

2. We serve that very same God.

We serve the same God who heals the sick, raises the dead, preaches the truth, and saves the world. When you pray today, remember who you are talking to. You are not speaking to an unknown being. You are not speaking a “wish into the air”. You are bringing your requests before the God of heaven. What do you believe God can do through you? Pray big prayers. Pray impossible prayers. Don’t limit the working of God with your small faith.

You may not be able to jump off a building and fly (you can’t, don’t try), you may not be able to lift more than the incredible hulk, or run forever without getting tired. But you have something more incredible than any of those things, a God who wants to hear from you.

Matthew 21:22

22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

Filled With Scripture & Ignorance

 


Filled with scripture and ignorance? That seems oxymoronic, does it not? After all, we know that the sum of God’s word is truth. We know that the scriptures have been “breathed out” by God. We believe that the words of God are as a lamp unto our feet. How could someone be filled with scripture and ignorance? It is more common than we might think. 

Consider with me a couple of examples. One from the Bible, and one from my own life. 

When we turn our New Testaments to the Gospel of John, and we read the 5th chapter the world that we are stepping into is very different from our own. It is a world that would look quite strange to us. We see the pagan influence on the culture as we read about a pool, that supposedly had mystical/miraculous healing powers. So many of the sick, paralyzed, and afflicted people would gather around and wait for their chance to be healed. Then, Jesus entered the picture and for one man, everything changed. Jesus healed a man who hadn’t been able to walk for 38 years! Possibly, all of his life. What a sight that must have been! Can you picture the joy on this man’s face? Can you hear his shouts of triumph? Can you picture the nonstop tears of joy flowing from his face? 

However, this story wasn’t all “sunshine and rainbows”. Many Jews began causing some heartache for this man as well as for Jesus. Why? Because the healing took place on the Sabbath. Not only did Jesus heal on the Sabbath, but He even had the audacity to claim that God was His father! Jesus began a lengthy explanation to His accusers concerning His inability to do anything without the Father, He speaks about coming Judgement, He speaks about resurrection, He speaks precious words of life. Then, He makes a statement that should give all believers pause —


John 5:39 ESV

39 You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me,


Notice what Jesus just said? He is addressing people who search the scriptures. He is addressing people who believe that in the scriptures, they will find life. These people, who searched the scriptures and had a high view of the scriptures… missed the whole point. They missed the Son! They missed the savior. They missed Jesus. 

These people were no doubt sincere in their searching of the scriptures, and they obviously had a high view of the text, but yet… They still “missed it”. 

Now it is my turn. 14 years ago I walked into my office for the very first time. I couldn’t believe it. I was now a “minister” I had the title and everything. I sat behind my desk and began to think about what I would preach this coming Sunday. I could think of no better topic with which to “kickoff my ministry” than to preach about the “Word of God”. I wanted to make sure that I held up the scriptures high. I wanted to make sure that I spoke about the inspiration of the scripture, so I went to 2 Timothy 3:16-17. I wanted to make sure I let the people know that the Bible and only the Bible could serve as a lamp unto their feet. So, I went to Psalms 119:105 For the final point that I wanted to drive home, I went no other place than–


Hebrews 4:12 ESV

12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.


Why? Because I wanted to assure the congregation that the Bible is living and active. It has an ability to cut to the heart. It has the ability to sort out our thoughts and intentions if we will allow it to. We need to cling to the Bible for these reasons. I was proud of that sermon. So proud in fact, that I believe I preached it a few more times in various locations. 

There is a tricky thing to keep in mind when studying the scriptures. Context. It changes everything, and yes… Context can sure ruin a good sermon. There was a problem with my preaching that sermon. I ignored context. As a result I made some applications that the original authors were not actually making. I’ll leave it to you to study those texts and arrive at how they should rightly be applied. The point is, I wanted to make some “points” and I went to certain verses to prove my points. The points I was trying to make weren’t bad, but they were not always the same points that the original author intended to make.

There are many more obvious passages that I have quoted in my preaching through the earlier years without realizing the context, or the proper meaning, for instance, did you know that Phil 4:13 is not a pep talk before a football game? Of course you know that, but sadly, there was a time that I didn’t think twice about quoting the passage in that context. 

Back to the point. When I was baptized into Christ I was given a “ready reference” that had lists of verses to go to to discuss any subject, generally aimed at “proving a point”. In some ways, this was helpful to me as I began to grow in Christ. It was helpful for me to see “why” we believed certain things that we believed. It wasn’t a bad tool to have. However, when we begin our study of a given topic with the conclusion in mind, we are often blind to what is in front of our eyes. 


It can be tempting for preachers to litter their sermons with 100 scripture references (I know, I’ve done it) in order to “prove” a point or worse, in order to “sound better”. It can be tempting as listeners ( I know, I’ve done it) to hear sermons like that and think, “Man! That guy knows his Bible!” and walk away more impressed with the messenger than we are the message. 


My challenge for myself and for you is a simple one. Do your best every time you approach the Bible, to take off your blinders. Empty your mind of “conclusions” until the study has been done. Do not ever, in preaching or personal study set out to “prove” a point. Set out to see, know, understand, and follow God. We all have biases. We all have a few scriptures that are ready to be quoted from memory that may not mean what we think they mean. Let’s learn from the Jews in John 5. Let’s not be content with searching the scriptures but missing the point. Even if that means that the context of a passage is going to ruin my next sermon… it probably wasn’t a good sermon in the first place. 🙂 Let’s press on to greater study, and love for the text. 

in Him,

Troy

“Church: Something is Wrong, and It Hurts”

Yoga practice as a band aid – babycrowyoga

I fear that something inside of us is broken. I am not speaking about the institution of the church, I am speaking about us, as the sinful individuals that sometimes mess it up. This is something that has weighed on my heart for some time, and I cannot hold my tongue any longer. We need to talk about it.

*Note: I love you with everything that I am. That, is why I am writing this letter. I want you to be who our Lord designed you to be, and yes, I am writing this to me as well as to you. This is not aimed at anyone in particular, rather, it is aimed at a diseased mindset (let’s call it “stinkin thinkin”) that I have watched grow through the years*

Perhaps, the best way for me to begin to say what is in my heart, is to ask you to remember a man we read about in Acts 18. His name is Apollos. Apollos was everything you would want in a preacher/teacher of God’s Word. The Bible tells us, he was very eloquent in speech. Don’t you prefer listening to eloquent speakers? (It’s ok, you can admit it.) He was passionate, not just a “happy to be here” attitude, the man was on fire for Jesus! Those people are a joy to be around. 

The Bible tells us that he was competent in the scriptures (that’s pretty important!). Then we read that Apollos did the unthinkable. Are you ready for it? Brace yourselves, it’s not pretty. 

Acts 18:25 (ESV)

25 He had been instructed in the way of the Lord. And being fervent in spirit, he spoke and taught accurately the things concerning Jesus, though he knew only the baptism of John.

Did you read what I just read? Here is a man, who is one of those energetic, charismatic, eloquent speaking guys. The crowds love him. You hear him preach and you can’t believe what you hear. This man is preaching publicly… a wrong message. He is not just preaching something you disagree with, he is messing up the truth about Baptism!

Now, let’s stop the story. Let’s pretend you hear a man preach this sermon. What is your reaction? 

Sadly, the normal reaction would be to call this man a false teacher. Label the man as liberal. Assassinate his character. Assume the man hasn’t poured his heart and soul into his study, but is just teaching nonsense because he thinks it’s what the people want. Or you could let the world around you know that you care about the Bible but he does not! He just ignores it! You could tell the world that you have the “sound doctrine” and this man is only trying to “please men.” 

Boy, we are good at letting men like this “have it”, aren’t we? We are the kings of “cancel culture” in this arena. Someone steps out of line from what has been taught before… canceled. Where did this sense of duty come from? Surely, that is how the first century church handled this issue…. right? Let’s check back in with the text.

Acts 18:26–28 (ESV)

26 He began to speak boldly in the synagogue, but when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately. 27 And when he wished to cross to Achaia, the brothers encouragedhim and wrote to the disciples to welcome him. When he arrived, he greatly helped those who through grace had believed, 28 for he powerfully refuted the Jews in public, showing by the Scriptures that the Christ was Jesus.

Did you just read what I read? Here we have Christians who heard a false teaching being proclaimed publicly, and they handled it by… Taking the man off to the side, in private and studying with him? They didn’t yell at him? They didn’t mark him as a false teacher? They didn’t tell everyone around not to listen to him, because he couldn’t be trusted? Weren’t they worried about the problems that could create? 

It appears they were more focused on that man’s soul and the souls of those that he would influence in the future. 

—————————————————————————————————-

Before anyone gets the wrong idea… I believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God, and that it is God’s only revealed will to mankind. I believe that I can be wrong and the Bible is always right. I believe we should strive with all that we are to understand it’s riches. I am not “ok” with false teaching where it exists. I am also not ok with handling difficult situations in an ungodly manner. I am outraged at the thought of handling situations differently than Christ would handle them, all the while, doing so “in the name of Christ.” 

  • A father attends a youth rally with his son, looking forward to a time of encouraging worship and study to help the boy grow stronger in his love for Jesus. Yet, the sermon is anything but encouraging. The sermon does not amount to much more than complaining about “culture” and demonizing people who are outside of Christ. Rather than leaving encouraged, this small family walks away angry, confused, and if anything… feeling more distant from the one they came to be near. 
  • A preacher fresh out of school, cannot contain his excitement to begin speaking from the scriptures in a deep and meaningful way. Only to be told that something he said was “not sound”. When he asks, what was wrong with what he preached, he is not met with reasoned explanation from the text. He is told that it didn’t match what their favorite preacher used to say. No scripture is given, but the young preacher learns that to many people, “Sound teaching” simply means, “Teaching that I agree with.”
  • Something is said in the assembly on Sunday morning, and the next thing you know, it is on social media. Someone is now “calling out” the person who said the “unspeakable thing.” You reach out (privately) to this person who is venting publicly and encourage them to keep the matter private, (in keeping with biblical principles.) They retort, “The teaching was public! The rebuke will be public!” I’m still waiting to see that as a Biblical way to treat a brother in Christ, because that certainly isn’t how it was handled in Acts 18.  

I could go on, but I do not want to. I want to point out, that I fear that there are some who have lost their way. There are some who think that the world will know that we belong to Jesus if we condemn all the false teaching. They forget that the world will know us by our love. (John 13:35). There are some that want to spend all their time focusing on “pet topics”, and their emphasis on these tend to elevate their status. When Paul would say with zeal, “I decided to know nothing among you except for Christ, and Him crucified” (1 Corinthians 2:2

As disciples of Jesus, we have a mission (Matthew 28:18-20). If we want to bring God glory in our mission we must SHOW our love for one another (John 13:35) We must fade into the background as we elevate our king (1 Corinthians 2:2).

Simple suggestions for each of us:

  • Preachers, spend less time bashing culture and more time exalting Jesus. You can do one without the other. One tears people down, while one gives people life. 
  • Christian, love your brother. Even the ones that you disagree with.
  • Christian, if you ever have a problem with something someone has said or done. Do what Jesus would tell you to do. Go to them alone and try to win your brother (Matthew 18:25). (Name calling, blame shifting, and public bickering do not count.) Please Christian, stop naming reasons that you won’t follow Jesus’ words on this point. Far too many are unwilling to speak to the person face to face as the Lord said, but are all too willing to gossip with their friends. If you do not handle these situations the Lord’s way, it is best that you avoid them altogether. 
  • Christian, do not neglect to study. Sometimes, maybe sometimes… I can’t believe I’m going to say it… Here it goes… Sometimes, that brother that you thought was teaching “unsound doctrine” was right, and you were wrong. I have been the “wrong” brother more times than I care to admit, that is how I know this painful truth. 

Allow me to leave you with one thought from the apostle Peter – 1 Peter 3:8- Finally, all of you, have unity of mindsympathybrotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.[1]

Peter wrote these words in the context of relationships and suffering. He deals with all kinds of relationships. Marriage relationships, relationship with government, masters, elders and the church under their care. Peter offers these words a lens through which to see and interact with each other. The next time you see or hear something with which you disagree, whether it be presented in private study, in the assembly, or online. Pass your response through this filter:

  • Is my response going to help or harm the unity in the church? (unity)
  • Have I taken a moment to truly consider the other person? What is going on in their life, their perspective, their reasoning, their emotion? If not, I am not qualified to speak on the issue at hand. (Sympathy)
  • Have I prayed for this person and their soul? Have I done anything, anything, to show this person that I love them? (Brotherly love)
  • How can I show my love and concern for this person so that they will know they can trust me? (tender-hearted) – Think Pricilla and Aquilla in Acts 18
  • Have I considered that I might be wrong? No, I’m not asking if you quickly reminded yourself that you are right. Have you really considered that you might be wrong? Only a (humble mind) can do that. Only a humble mind can still be taught. 

Church, I love you. I am eternally grateful for the countless blessings that I have received from the Lord, through you during my lifetime. The vast majority of my brothers and sisters are not only great models of what is written here, but have taught me better how to be more like this (I still have a long ways to go). The future of the church is bright because our King is on His throne. I am honored to call you my family. Please consider this letter as nothing more than an encouragement to myself and my closest friends/family to eliminate the “stinkin thinkin” from our lives, and be better at treating people the way Jesus would. Let’s do everything that we can to build up His kingdom. Remember, you cannot build the church with a wrecking ball.