Last week on Wednesday night, I was doing one of my favorite things on this earth (delivering a devotional lesson.) Everything was going along just fine until I began developing a little bit of a lisp. I started having trouble thinking clearly, I offered the invitation quickly. Walking out to the car I began seeing spots and not being able to walk very well. I asked my wife to drive. We just started going down the road and I saw my Bible fly off the top of the car from where I had left it, (I have never even put my Bible on top of the car before.) I then started shaking uncontrollably, had a piercing headache, and couldn’t speak well.
My wife thought maybe I was having a blood sugar issue. Even though I had never had one before I thought it was worth a shot. I drank a milkshake and ate some proteins, I began feeling slightly better. When I laid down at home my bed started spinning so fast (or so it seemed) that I had to clutch the sheets to keep from flying off of it. I stood up to get Meagan’s help, and collapsed onto the floor.
Since it was late and we have small children Meagan stayed home with them and made arrangements for a dear friend to take me to the ER. Upon arriving my blood pressure was 165/90 (I’ve never had blood pressure problems before.) 10 minutes later it had fallen to 100/50. It went up and down, for more than 4 hours. The highest was 206/133, the lowest was 90/46. Needless to say I (along with the Dr.) was concerned. He ordered a cat scan and said “I think something “unwanted” is going on upstairs, and I’m scared to mess around with it.” I was terrified.
When the results came back, I was relieved. I had developed a rare infection in the base of my sinus cavity that had gotten so bad it was causing the brain tissue to swell. Once the swelling occurred, I saw the side effects. After a week of steroids and antibiotics, the infection seems to be gone, blood pressure returned to normal, the swelling disappearing, and life returning to normal.
The point in me sharing this is because of the thoughts/fears that developed in my mind when the Dr expressed his sincere concerns. I became deeply worried about my family. I began asking myself questions that I never wanted to ask myself. How would my family get along without me if something terrible happened? Have I prepared them (wife and kids) the best that I can at the stage that they are at? Would my children remember their daddy? When I asked myself that last one I wanted to slap myself because I knew it was too early to think of those things (thankfully I was right.) I looked at the friend who had taken me to the hospital and could tell he wasn’t buying my “im fine” statements. It SEEMED as if all were crashing in around me.
However, even though what was wrong turned out to not be nearly as serious as what we were thinking at the time, was it really too early to ask those questions?
James 4:14- yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.
We have no idea what will come of our life. We have no idea how long we have. We have no idea when Christ will return. Are we living like we have “all the time in the world?” Or, are we living like we must build relationships with our God and our family today?
“O God, thank you for your mercy. You continually amaze us with all you have blessed us with. You are our shelter, and our comfort in times of trial. Father, thank you for blessing us with our families and our friends. I pray that you will give us the strength we need to lay aside anything that keeps us from living for you. Help us to love you, love our families, love our neighbors. In Jesus name, Amen.”